Communicating Emotions

Yesterday I wrote about what I see the different levels of conversation are and promised to tell you how to work on your emotional communications.

Before you can do any of this you need to be able to get yourself to relax at will, any time, any place. If you can't do this go away, do some meditation, ashtanga yoga, oriental martial arts or hypnosis or something.

These techniques are incredibly powerful and can help you build rapport very quickly and in some cases tell you what people are thinking (forget IOIs if you can do this you will know). However before you can use them you will need to practice a little.

Body Language Myths
I'm sure you have read much on body language and what means what and how to come across well. I am not saying this is all useless, in fact I like to read as much as possible too. However I use it more so I can consciously realise a few things (especially about myself) without having to use the in-depth techniques I am about to talk about.

You cannot consciously control your body language. Full stop, end of discussion. There are simply too many variables to think of, you cannot possibly control them all. If you fake it by trying to control a few of them you will come across as incongruent which is normally game over.

(fyi Sinn has a great post about what happens when you are incongruent)

Ok, so you can't consciously control your body language how do you convey what you want? You need to use your state. This sounds more difficult, no? Well yes and no. If you get the hang of it it becomes automatic very quickly, but there is a knack to it.

Controlling your state
First relax. Many PUAs I have read use self-hypnosis and trance techniques to do this. Whatever, it is all the same in the end. You have effectively made yourself a blank slate. Now remind yourself of something that will put you in state.
Eg

• You are a cool guy, every body loves you
• This is it, you are going to blow these ladies away
• This girl does not stand a chance against you

Equally you could remember a situation where you were in the state you want. Try to remember as many details as you can, focusing on particularly strong images, sounds or sensations.

Hopefully this should put you in the state you want. Ok great, now you have communicate this to whomever. To do this you need to grab them and pull them into your state. I like this analogy as it illustrates that you need to be within reach to grab someones state. If you are bouncing off the walls with excitement and your target is crying because her whole family was just killed in a terrorist attack, you are not going to be able to effecively communicate your emotion to her. If Someone else is a little excited it will be easy to get them as excited as you.

You need to be able to meet them near their own emotional level. This raises a question: how do you know what that emotion/level is?

The Possession Technique
This and the next technique may seem a little odd. Do not let that put you off, they are merely ways to instruct your subconcious of what you want. I do not actually do them this way (I found my own path) but this is how I was taught and I cannot think of a better way of describing them.

First, relax. Clean the slate.

Basically you jump into your target. Do this however you want, some off the examples given to me were:

• Visualise your essence as a cloud leaving your body being absorbed by your target.
• Imagine that you are putting on their skin like a costume.
• Visualise yourself stepping into them as a ghost.

It does not really matter how you do it. The important bit is that as you do this you try to imagine how it feels to be them; imagine you are seeing yourself from their eyes, imagine how their clothes feel on their body, imagine the differences in how they hear things. Again try to focus on the most obvious things. If they are a woman, imagine how it feels to have their breasts: Do they hang? Are they heavy? How would the bra feel? If they have obvious features, use them to your advantage. If they have an afro, how does it feel when they turn their head? If they have glasses, how do they look from the other side? How does your voice sound?

The Bubble Technique
First, relax. Clean the slate.

Imagine there is a bubble surrounding you and your target. Everything outside the bubble becomes quieter, duller and less important. All of your focus is on what is inside the bubble. Personally I like to fade out their clothes as well, particularly if they are wearing anything distinctive. Focus just on the people. The advantage of this technique is that it can be used for more than one person.


With both of these techniques you will start getting a vibe, that vibe is what the person is feeling. With practice and context you can start to notice more and more detail, you will eventually be able to tell exactly what a person is thinking about. NB not what they are thinking but what they are thinking about.

This is all very difficult to describe, partly because someone can have more than one emotion at the same time. You really need to try it out for yourself. I practice on the bus. Looking out of the window trying to do it with passers by.

Try to block negative emotions as soon as you feel them, do not even acknowledge them. If you start to feel awkward, remind yourself how comfortable and relaxed you are. If you start to feel disgust, remind yourself that you accept everything as it is. If you start to feel annoyance, remind yourself how tolerant you are. Not only are these undesirable emotions to emphasize they will most probably kill your vibe too. In extreme cases they may even affect you for a while. Be especially aware of bitterness, or hate, these cna have a lasting effect on you. If you get this vibe from someone, walk away.

Bringing them to your state
Assuming you have been maintaining the conversation whilst you were doing this you will notice things are probably starting to flow much more easily now. You should be now in a very good rapport with them. Start to focus more on your desired state, they will start picking up on this and start to feel the same thing.

Do things gradually, unless someone is already in the right state moving straight to a strong sexual state will just make things awkward. Good ones to start off with are facination, relaxation or comfort once you have one of these you can start bringing the sexual state in, slowly at first, then stronger as you flirt more and more. Hopefully this should help you know when to kiss close as you will feel her thinking "kiss me, kiss me". Personally I like to toy with her a bit and keep leaning past her, or making her jump through hoops. If she is thinking this, she now sees you as the prize, she is yours to do with what you will.

Try to keep your composure and the rest is down to opportunity and logistics. Job done!

One of the best things about doing this is the feedback you get. You should be able to almost read what the target is thinking, when you go wrong it will be obvious, and you should be able to catch yourself before you screw it up too badly.