Dating and Gaming in London

Men are superior to women

2009-07-08T17:29:00.003+01:00

Men are superior to women, it's not up for debate, it is a fact. The reasons are twofold:

Women have inferior physical characteristics
Women have been repressed by society for eons

Women have inferior physical characteristics
Physical development, having to bleed every month, having a body clock which means their reproductive organs stop working halfway through tier lives, hormones going nuts the whole time. Being a woman is HARD. Give them a break.

Women have been repressed by society for eons
Largely due to the physical characteristics and the stronger male sex drive women have been under the thumb of male society since day dot. Men do not generally have to worry much about rape. Indeed women are deemed to be sluts if they even get close to overtly displaying their inherent sexuality the way men do. In many societies the emotional and physical repression of women is so extreme that it would be against the law in most modern western societies.

This realisation helped me move on with my inner game. Being able to feel superior to women but to maintain the same level (sometimes more, triumph over adversity and all that) or respect, helped me feel more secure without sucking value from the women I talk to.

Overall you should feel like men are better than women, it is generally true. That does not mean however that you should underestimate women in any way. More often than not they can compete on a level footing with men in all but the most physical and competitive environments. I do semi-contact kick boxing. generally speaking the women who comprise 60% of the school are better than the guys. They place less importance on the outcome and are generally more skill full, not to mention quicker and more flexible. The only edge men have is an extra bit of competitiveness.

Don't put women on a pedestal, most of the time you are going to be a happier more valuable balanced person than them. That said it is your job to help them lift themselves from the difficulties life has thrown them. A leader's responsibility is not to himself but to those he leads.

Women have it hard, cut them some slack.

Dealing with drama

2009-07-08T13:18:00.003+01:00

In any relationship there are bound to be arguments. If anyone tries to tell me otherwise they are either lying or have not had a relationship with anyone. With women they can be much more frequent. One thing to always bear in mind when dealing with this is to remember that you do not get annoyed with people or situations you do not value. If a woman is fighting with you over some minor detail (as most arguments are) then it is a sign that you are important to her.

Many guys view women as a little bit unstable and this is not too far from the truth. The hormones and general make up of a woman mean that their emotions and emotional states are generally stronger than that of men. Add to this the fact that women have been penned into living up to many impossible stereotypes and it is easy to see why women tend to be more insecure than men.

(interesting observation of the hormonal effect http://www.newscientist.com/blog/lastword/2008/10/its-his-hormones.html#nbicomments 2nd comment from bottom)

Ok so women are more unstable than men, this means it is your job as a man to provide stability. You have to be the emotional rock that she can cling onto. That is not to say that you cannot be annoyed, but you know when an issue is extremely minor. If it does not matter concede the point (your "principles" are bullshit principles. not killing people is a priciple, not conceding a point is being a dick). Stay level and logical, if you have points to make then make them, and do not get drawn off onto other (even similar) issues. Basically, listen to her and ignore the drama aspect. If it is really petty, or something you cannot control, ignore it totally, treat her as you normally would and do your best not to be short or irritated with her.

Most women hate doing this, and hate doing it to people they value. Sometimes you have to give her a little space, once you know what she thinks she is angry about, say something to reassure her, concede a point or 2 so she does not feel like she is rolling over backwards for you, then walk away. It may take 5 mins it may take a couple days.

All this feels a little draining, you are giving a LOT of value doing this. Try to remember that you are the man and it is your job, believe me it helps. Also try to remember that to a large degree she will not be able to control herself. Try not to hold it against her. When she does conced a point or feel guilty for having the drama in the first place, reward her, this is a very noble thing for her to do and probably took a lot of effort.

There is a reason people say "be the bigger man" and not "be the bigger woman".

Giving value

2009-07-07T13:20:00.001+01:00

Inner game is all about value. A lack of confidence or belief in one's self tends to mean you seek value from other people. It is a bit of an esoteric concept but it is what really underpins all inner game. Some people use energy to describe the same concept.

You should try to always give people value. Doing this will increase your value as a person. This will attract people to you in every sense of the word. You will be more successful in every area of life that involves other people and it will make you happier generally.

If you are still reading this then this has probably either not occured to you or you do not properly understand the concept. The only way to imporve this is to ask yourself a question every time you do anything. Is what I am doing at the minute providing value or am I taking the value from something else?

Here are some tips:

Avoid insults - You are taking value from the person you are insulting
Avoid complaining - This is effectively insulting your situation, taking value from all those around you
Avoid negative thoughts about people in general - Difficult but try to see things from the other persons point of view. Negativity sucks value.
Accept people - Some people are insecure, some people hate themselves, not many people are actually bad, mean or nasty. Sympathy is value giving emotional state, better yet accept and see past it.
Be interested in people - Some people are boring, you can counteract this by asking yourself (and them) questions about what it is about x or y that interests them
Be open to new ideas and experiences - Say "yes" more, you can't provide any value sitting at home.
Give people the opportunity to shine - This gives them the opportunity to demonstrate value to you. The best way to give value.
Entertain people - Making other people happy is a great way to give value

Be a value giver not a value taker.

Listen to Women - Just don't take what they say at face value

2009-07-03T13:06:00.002+01:00

I have been given plenty of advice in my chode days about getting a girlfriend (NB not actually getting women in general). When I first got into pickup I decided it was all rubbish, but as my game matures it is all coming together. You just have to realise exactly how to take the advice.

Whilst women tend to know more or less what they look for in a man, most tend fail to realise certain key points:

How hard it is for a guy to actually take what he wants
How petrified most of us actually are of women
How twisted our ideas are of what women actually want
How the concept of status works in attraction
What actually makes them attractive.
Why a particular aspect or feature is a good thing

1
Often women deny themselves a lot society has put restrictions on what is acceptable for them to do and what is not. A lot of girls think it is bad to sleep with a guy on the first date, even if they want to. They think that one night stands are slutty. They do these things but they tend to feel guilty about it. There are rules and no go areas for women, they know them and most of the time men don't. All those magazines, the girly chats, this is where they discuss what they can do and what they can't. That said the rules are not a secret and women will share them with you. Listen and listen good, then figure out what it means for you, then you know when you come accross it.
eg Many women will not kiss on the first date (probably shouldn't be dating anyway), spike her romance vibes, some situations need a kiss (sunset etc).

2
Most girls hardly ever approach guys. They often make the first move but the moves they make are subtle and easy to miss. Most women (especially the hot ones) do not really understand the fear of rejection that we feel. They have the attitude "It has happened to me before so why can't everyone do it?". Understand that women expect you to take the risks. How can you make them feel secure if they are taking all these risks the whole time? Also understand that women refer to guys in the same way we refer to chicks. The attraction is implicit. Do you want to meet chicks? It implies hot chicks.

3
Women do not seem to understand that the more they try to live up to the repressive and stereotypical good girl images that society puts on them, the more the uneduacated think the way to treat a woman is like you would treat something fragile. "Women don't like rock climbing they like being taken out for dinner and the theater". Make sure you understand that women are a lot like men in most respects: they like sex (a lot) and like doing exciting things.

4
Women will always say yu should treat them like princesses. If you have read anything else about pickup you know this is a bad way to think. It's fine to treat women princesses only if you are the king, or better yet the emporer. Listen to what they like but make sure you keep your status.

5
When women discuss guys they assume they are attractive. You will rarely get a woman to tell you what makes you attractive. They rarely know and understand even less. Learn the attraction part of your game elsewhere. They will probably tell you to do your hair and all that crap, dress yourself make sure you look cool and get some flair.

6
All women think they have a type, this is bullshit. You know that otherwise none of this would work. See 5.

With all that in mind most women will tell you 2 things:

Be confident
Be yourself

2 of the hardest things to do in life, figure out what this means and get them sorted.

Listen to women, apply what they say to what you know. It will help.

How true...how true

2009-07-02T13:18:00.004+01:00

This never ever happened to me, not even once....because I was always so cool....I mean girls have always been easy for me....but you probably already knew that...just thought I would say..............shit

Attitude to sex

2009-07-02T10:17:00.003+01:00

One thing that many guys go wrong on is their attitude to sex. Sex is a basic human need, women need sex, guys need sex, everyone with pubes needs sex. This is normal but sex is not a drug. You should not crave sex (if you have not had any for a while/ever this is easier said than done).

Repressing sexual desire is to repress reality. I do not care what your religion culture or upbringing is you will never become at ease with yourself until you stop repressing your sexual desires. It is ok to want sex, it is ok to ask for sex (though to do so outright is rare). People will not stop talking to you if you do.

Think of it like a favourite food. If you do not have it for a little while you begin to want it more and more. However even when it gets to the stage you have not had it for ages you can still go without it. When you sit down for dinner and it is not the food you wanted, you are disappointed but far from heartbroken. By the same token you never would expect anyone to give you that food.

Women want sex all the time, but the more importance you attach to sex the more important you need to be to the girl to have it. If she can tell that it is not a big deal to you then she will be more likely to be relaxed about it.

Giving compliments

2009-07-01T12:42:00.003+01:00

Compliments are the chode's most useful and ineffectual tool. This is because they do not know how to use them. The average chode will compliment a girl in an unoriginal way on something that other people also compliment her on. This kills interest and attraction in a number of ways:

Status - Feels copliment is necessary, comunicates neediness and that she is higher status than you
Interest - A compliment she hears a lot communicates that you are just another guy, that she will be used to brushing off. A very bad category to be in.
Empty - There is no value to your comment you are not expressing an interest in her (eg you're beautiful, communicates not that you like her but that you think she is like the other beautiful girls)

The biggest mistake that is being made here is that the whole purpose (to make the girl feel good) is defeated because the comment is not specific enough for her to take it seriously. The easiest way to counter this is to follow it up with a reason why eg (you are looking beautiful tonight, that dress really shows off your figure). This will make any girl smile but it does not address the status issue.

The key is to compliment them and make them feel good about the things they feel insecure about. This marks you out as different and accepting. Done correctly it can even raise your status with her, as you are drawing attention to her flaws. The subcommunication is "guys don't like you because of X but I am different so I am your only option, also I am making you feel good about it so what a great option I am".

To do this you need to identify her flaws, or more correctly the flaws she is acutely aware of. Looks are the easiest to do this on, look at the way she is dressed what part of her is she trying to hide? Here are some things to look for:

High belts or clothes loose around the hips - bum eg that top gives your hips a great shape
Trousers looser lower down - legs eg The way your trousers hang makes your shoes look great
Breasts squeezed together - breasts eg you are really presenting yourself well
Loose around the waist - tummy eg makes your stomach look really flat
Hair covering face - Your hairstyle makes your face look really cute

If the target is really high status you can turn it into a neg eg ... makes the bump of your tummy look really sexy (subcommunicaton: you're fat, no guy will like you but I am special).

Cold Reading
Looks are great but nothing compares to the power of complimenting character flaws. This shows you are really taking an interest in her and you "get" her.

Some good ones:
The way you deal with your shyness is really impressive.
You come across really strong but you shouldn't hide your vunerabitity so much, it is very endearing.
The way you use your energy to stop you feeling awkward is impressive.

Word of warning
Do not contradict her reality: if she thinks she is fat, don't bother telling her she is not (even if she really is not). Just make a comment about how well she pulls it off. If you disagree with her reality she will not believe you and so the compliment will be wasted.

So to summarise:
You have to be genuine, mean what you say. Try to commpliment on something that she is likely to feel insecure about. If possible make it a character compliment, cold reading is great for this.

You will need to compliment at somepoint in your first interaction, try to calbrate when the best time to do this is. Do not just hammer out the compliments. One or two are justified, any more and you look needy.

Day Twos and Dates

2009-06-30T18:19:00.002+01:00

There has been much derision on dating. Most mPUAs recommend avoiding them at all costs. Once again though this depends, there is a time and a place. You need to know what is appropriate.

Girls date, they know what a date is and they expect to date guys. A hot girl will go on lots of dates. To a girl a date does not really mean anything, it is something she can do a lot, withoutt feeling like a slut.

The problem with dates is that you are in a situation where most of the time the woman expects that you want to sleep with her, and that you are trying to win her, not the other way round like you want it. This is why you use day twos. Day twos are meets more than dates, they are basically dates but where you remove the aspect where you are trying to impress her.

A day two is where she comes along to something that you are doing anyway (normally where you are meeting other people anyway eg to a party you are going to, out with your mates), a date is where you do something different for her.

A day two communicates that you do not ascribe to her too much value. This will almost always the best thing do. The only time when it is not is when you have done most of the work and all she needs is to know that you value her and you are not just taking her for a ride.

This is what happened to Style in The Game. He finally met the woman of his dreams and he nearly threw it away because he was so intent on being distant. All she needed was a date, she wanted to know that if she gave herself to him she would not get hurt.

To summarise, if you are in doubt day two is always the fallback. However if she likes you already, a date may be better.

Instant emotion builders

2009-06-30T17:57:00.004+01:00

This is more of a pointer of situations to be aware of than anything else.

Any time someones emotion is spiked and you are around they will associate those emotions with you, especially if you feature prominently. This is why so many guys strive for the perfect date (of course they miss the fact that the biggest aspect to the date is their own emotional state).

You can use this to your advantage. If you can find a girl obviously in a good state you can get them to associate that with you. You still need to game normally but it will help your drop-off rate.

Good examples for meeting people are:

When they are on drugs - People on drugs need to feel secure otherwise they get mega paranoid, if you can keep them riding that wave you will almost certainly have whatever you want. Beware of bringing their state down though, drugs tend to emphasise emotions. If they feel good, they will feel really good and vise-versa. All girls I have ever met get really horny on drugs.
In a strong atmosphere - like a concert or festival. State is pumped you are both in the same environment. Perhaps think of some crazy activities related to your situation. eg at a rock concert challenge them to an air guitar contest. At a rain soaked festival, singing in the rain is always good.

You can use this in relationships and day twos and more familiar situations too for different effects.

Food - Like a drug in itself, but safe and builds comfort. Find something awesome here that they have never had before, should be easy. Dinner's do not work well unless you cook them because they tend not to be associated with you. If you know a good ice cream flavor take them there don't eat there and insist on buying them that specific flavor. Obviously this can be hit and miss.
Rides and adrenaline thrills - Build attraction, excitement and comfort. She will experience all the sensations of the thrill and then look for comfort as she calms down.
Movies - There is a reason guys have been using these for dates for years and years. A good movie elicits emotions in the person watching it. For you to take advantage you need to be in close proximity to the target. Cinema will elicit stronger emotions but she will be isolated in the cinema and associate less with you. For best results DVD at home. Consider the emotions you want to elicit when choosing the movie rather than what you think either of you will like. Chic flicks can be too soppy, I would go for something slightly sexy and edgy. The secretary is good. Horror can backfire as they tend to elicit negative emotions.

Been a while

2009-06-30T17:55:00.001+01:00

Sorry for not keeping up with the posts guys, Be warned have a lot on this week so work rate will probably drop off a little.

Will probably be back to normal next week though.

In the meantime one more for the road.

Jumpstart your game - pull a pig!

2009-06-25T16:32:00.004+01:00

Lots of people get hung up on only going for the hottest chicks, indeed many programmes and mPUAs tell you to be picky. Personally I do not agree. I think the main objective is to stop you falling in love with the first girl that give you any. You do need to be picky in that sense, after all you do not want a complete bitch screwing you around using you as a crutch for all her own personal problems.

At the risk for sounding like a target; you need to be picky with your heart, not your body.

The one thing that is an absolute pre-requisite to getting better game is experience. If you only ever open one set you will never be good at opening. Practice makes perfect.

When guys start out there are few hang-ups that will always stop them getting the hottest chicks largely to do with inner game. If you get laid a few times with a few different chicks your game will improve by leaps and bounds. You will have women to practice all your techniques on. What is more because they are not the HBs you are after, you will not be so concerned about the outcome.

Remember to keep your emotional distance unless you decide you do actually really like them. Don't worry about what people will say, worse case scenario they will take the piss. Big deal. No-one will stop liking you as a person. Girls might even see you as a decent guy and might start setting you up with someone better.

Remember to be a good person and be totally straight with them, your goal is to practice, not be an a-hole.

On the plus side you will be getting laid by chicks who are eager to please. One mouth feels pretty much the same as another anyway. You will be able to get them to do loads of dirty things.

If a PUA told you he had slept with 5000 women and had threesomes, the whole shebang. Who is going to ask how many of them were hot.

An opportunity is an opportunity, you can take advantage of them all without having to settle for any of them,

As aPUA friend of mine, who has instructed for RSD and now got his own PU company, once said to me: "hole and a heartbeat, hearbeat optional" or if you prefer "it's quantity not quality".

Ignore this: pwfjsg7tk9

Conversational Skills

2009-06-24T18:22:00.002+01:00

I have spoken about emotional communication which is a killer technique but you need to maintain a conversation to use it. When people start a problem most people have is that of running out of things to say. Inner game can help a lot as this is normally a symptom of not being comfortable in the situation, but there are some techniques that can help kill this deadlock.

Routines
Story telling
Observational comedy and piss taking
Speed Seduction patterns

Routines
Mystery method uses a lot of these, really they are substitutes for solid game so you should not rely on them too much but they can give you a hook after your opener.

Story Telling
Superb technique if you can tell good stories you will come across as cool, interesting and high status. Swingcat has some great stuff on this. AisanPlayboy has a review of a program on his blog, not tried it though. One thing to remember, forget being embarrassed. The best stories I have ever heard were massively embarrasing for the person telling it. The fact that they felt they could tell it increased both status (I have nothing to hide) and comfort (wow, we must be good mates).

Observational comedy and piss taking
My personal favorite, not ideal for sets of more than 2-3 or where you do not hold the entire attention of the group. Taking the piss out of a 10 shows you are not afraid of her and it is also an active disqualification. Negs fall into this category but I do not really like them, they backfire too easily. Use with caution, don't be too crude or cutting. Insulting is ok but only if you are fairly sure you are not hitting to close to home.

Speed Sedcution patterns
Basically these are canned lines designed to server a purpose. On their own they are powerful enough but once again you are in danger of faking it not making it. No excuse for not having solid game. They are very useful for giving yourself a conversational purpose. If you know where you want to be it is easier to think of things to talk about.

With the exception of SS, the best way to think of all of these is to treat the women as a close aquaintance, whom you like but see yourself as superior too. Most people would have known someone who tends to tag along rather than be part of a group. RSD Tyler says think of her as your bratty little sister, I never had one so this never meant much to me.

Adding some passion into the mix

2009-06-24T17:15:00.002+01:00

Ok so you are a computer programmer and you spend your days playing RPGs and watching sci-fi with some other geeks. Chick anthrax right? Wrong. You have to be yourself, do not give up what you like doing just because of women, you are giving each and every one too much status. All you need is some passion (and some control over when you are boring people).

I like cricket, not playing it, watching it. By most people's standards, especially the forgieners that I hang out with, it is an intensely dull game. But when I tell them about it, I captivate them (for a while anyway). I love the game. I love it's intricate, over complicated rules. I love it's stupid names. I love the fuddy-duddy people who follow it. I love the bizzare off the wall commentary. I love the fact that it goes on for days so I do not miss any of it. I am passionate about it.

Make sure whatever you do, you do it with passion and you put everything into it. I'm not suggesting that if all you do is D&D and sci-fi you are going to start picking up women, you still need to put yourself out there. After all your buddy's basement is not going to be full of super hot chicks. I would suggest maybe taking up an additional hobby on your free nights, but you catch the drift.

Never be afraid of who you are, never be afraid to tell anyone. If a chick asks me about pickup or starts badmouthing the community, I will stick my neck out and stand up for us: "No way, The Game was one of the most inspiring things I ever read it changed my life. I'm proud of who I am today and pickup helped me get here". If people cannot accept you for who you are then that is their problem not yours.

Do what ever you want, but do it with passion and do not be afraid to show it. Actively tell people about it, just know when to stop. Chicks dig passion but no-one likes a bore.

Mindsets

2009-06-24T13:45:00.005+01:00

Inner game is all about mindsets. This is how you should be thinking, no matter what. If you really cannot agree with any one of these statements, you need to change your life until you can. Even the best of us are deficient in a couple of these most of the time. If you can realise that and keep correcting it you will get closer and closer to your goal.

I am a good person
I accept myself exactly as I am
I have an interesting life
I have the right to be myself
I can have whatever woman I want
Any woman would be lucky to have me
I add value to the lives of those around me
I can have as many friends as I want
I always put 100% of myself in everything I do
I watch myself and admit when I am wrong
I accept and admire other people and their achievements
I take no pleasure from other people's misery.
I feel no need to compare myself or my abilities to anyone else.

Hint: if you actually keep repeating to yourself it will help you get there quicker, weird but it works.

Communicating Emotions

2009-06-23T13:21:00.004+01:00

Yesterday I wrote about what I see the different levels of conversation are and promised to tell you how to work on your emotional communications.

Before you can do any of this you need to be able to get yourself to relax at will, any time, any place. If you can't do this go away, do some meditation, ashtanga yoga, oriental martial arts or hypnosis or something.

These techniques are incredibly powerful and can help you build rapport very quickly and in some cases tell you what people are thinking (forget IOIs if you can do this you will know). However before you can use them you will need to practice a little.

Body Language Myths
I'm sure you have read much on body language and what means what and how to come across well. I am not saying this is all useless, in fact I like to read as much as possible too. However I use it more so I can consciously realise a few things (especially about myself) without having to use the in-depth techniques I am about to talk about.

You cannot consciously control your body language. Full stop, end of discussion. There are simply too many variables to think of, you cannot possibly control them all. If you fake it by trying to control a few of them you will come across as incongruent which is normally game over.

(fyi Sinn has a great post about what happens when you are incongruent)

Ok, so you can't consciously control your body language how do you convey what you want? You need to use your state. This sounds more difficult, no? Well yes and no. If you get the hang of it it becomes automatic very quickly, but there is a knack to it.

Controlling your state
First relax. Many PUAs I have read use self-hypnosis and trance techniques to do this. Whatever, it is all the same in the end. You have effectively made yourself a blank slate. Now remind yourself of something that will put you in state.
Eg

You are a cool guy, every body loves you
This is it, you are going to blow these ladies away
This girl does not stand a chance against you

Equally you could remember a situation where you were in the state you want. Try to remember as many details as you can, focusing on particularly strong images, sounds or sensations.

Hopefully this should put you in the state you want. Ok great, now you have communicate this to whomever. To do this you need to grab them and pull them into your state. I like this analogy as it illustrates that you need to be within reach to grab someones state. If you are bouncing off the walls with excitement and your target is crying because her whole family was just killed in a terrorist attack, you are not going to be able to effecively communicate your emotion to her. If Someone else is a little excited it will be easy to get them as excited as you.

You need to be able to meet them near their own emotional level. This raises a question: how do you know what that emotion/level is?

The Possession Technique
This and the next technique may seem a little odd. Do not let that put you off, they are merely ways to instruct your subconcious of what you want. I do not actually do them this way (I found my own path) but this is how I was taught and I cannot think of a better way of describing them.

First, relax. Clean the slate.

Basically you jump into your target. Do this however you want, some off the examples given to me were:

Visualise your essence as a cloud leaving your body being absorbed by your target.
Imagine that you are putting on their skin like a costume.
Visualise yourself stepping into them as a ghost.

It does not really matter how you do it. The important bit is that as you do this you try to imagine how it feels to be them; imagine you are seeing yourself from their eyes, imagine how their clothes feel on their body, imagine the differences in how they hear things. Again try to focus on the most obvious things. If they are a woman, imagine how it feels to have their breasts: Do they hang? Are they heavy? How would the bra feel? If they have obvious features, use them to your advantage. If they have an afro, how does it feel when they turn their head? If they have glasses, how do they look from the other side? How does your voice sound?

The Bubble Technique
First, relax. Clean the slate.

Imagine there is a bubble surrounding you and your target. Everything outside the bubble becomes quieter, duller and less important. All of your focus is on what is inside the bubble. Personally I like to fade out their clothes as well, particularly if they are wearing anything distinctive. Focus just on the people. The advantage of this technique is that it can be used for more than one person.

With both of these techniques you will start getting a vibe, that vibe is what the person is feeling. With practice and context you can start to notice more and more detail, you will eventually be able to tell exactly what a person is thinking about. NB not what they are thinking but what they are thinking about.

This is all very difficult to describe, partly because someone can have more than one emotion at the same time. You really need to try it out for yourself. I practice on the bus. Looking out of the window trying to do it with passers by.

Try to block negative emotions as soon as you feel them, do not even acknowledge them. If you start to feel awkward, remind yourself how comfortable and relaxed you are. If you start to feel disgust, remind yourself that you accept everything as it is. If you start to feel annoyance, remind yourself how tolerant you are. Not only are these undesirable emotions to emphasize they will most probably kill your vibe too. In extreme cases they may even affect you for a while. Be especially aware of bitterness, or hate, these cna have a lasting effect on you. If you get this vibe from someone, walk away.

Bringing them to your state
Assuming you have been maintaining the conversation whilst you were doing this you will notice things are probably starting to flow much more easily now. You should be now in a very good rapport with them. Start to focus more on your desired state, they will start picking up on this and start to feel the same thing.

Do things gradually, unless someone is already in the right state moving straight to a strong sexual state will just make things awkward. Good ones to start off with are facination, relaxation or comfort once you have one of these you can start bringing the sexual state in, slowly at first, then stronger as you flirt more and more. Hopefully this should help you know when to kiss close as you will feel her thinking "kiss me, kiss me". Personally I like to toy with her a bit and keep leaning past her, or making her jump through hoops. If she is thinking this, she now sees you as the prize, she is yours to do with what you will.

Try to keep your composure and the rest is down to opportunity and logistics. Job done!

One of the best things about doing this is the feedback you get. You should be able to almost read what the target is thinking, when you go wrong it will be obvious, and you should be able to catch yourself before you screw it up too badly.

Different types of social interaction

2009-06-22T17:26:00.006+01:00

At the end of the day no matter what pickup style you favour, you will always be trying to manipulate other peoples emotions. That is what social interaction is all about.

Many gurus and mPUAs will tell you that words are only a tiny percentage of the communication. Why is that? What do they mean? Surely funny people tell funny stories and cool people say cool things? Not quite, funny people can communicate mirth. Have you ever heard a joke that has made you fall over laughing but fallen flat when you tried to tell someone else? There is a reason why they have warm up acts at comedy shows. They need to get people in the state to hear comedy.

Here is a different way to think about it:

There are three levels to communication:

Short term or basic- second by second
Medium term or emotional- a few seconds - a few hours
Long term or relational - anything longer

Short Term/Basic
This is what most people would define as communication but in general is assigned a lot more importance than strictly necessary. Examples include openers, and simple words or phrases.

Medium Term/Emotional
This is where game happens, this is what you need to work on. Almost any casual relationship with a man or woman is formed here. You need to be able to communicate positive emotions to people. That means making them feel good, and realising it is because of you. Medium term communication is built up of lots of basic communication, body language, state and tonality.

Long Term/Relational
This is the final pillar of your game: building relationships. You need to be able to maintain positive emotional communication over a period of time. If you are an awesome dude for one night but a dick the next you are falling down here.

What I mean here is that words do not really matter they are just excuses you use whilst you communicate emotionally. How do you achieve this? Those of you who have learnt a bit of NLP should know already, those who have not....I'll let you know tomorrow.

End game

2009-06-18T17:38:00.003+01:00

I dunno about you guys but I have realised that what I want has changed quite a lot.

When I first got into pickup it was all about MLTRs and getting threesomes. Now not quite so bothered. I have a great girl and I don't really want to change that right now. Sure there are always other women I want, but I have not met any that can offer me anything more than I have.

It is always important to be aware of what you are going for. This will change all the time! You have to keep asking yourself if you are happy with your situation. It may be that the girl of your dreams turns out to be very stressful. Likewise keeping several women on the go may turn out to be very fulfilling and it could turn out to be a series of shouting matches.

In NLP they teach you to always visualise your desired outcome. Good advice. You will never achieve your goals if you do not have any.

I set my goal like this: I will never go for more than 1 month without getting laid again.

I have not missed a week since I set that goal.

As Asian Playboy says, Know Thyself. I think this is very profound advice, more than he goes into in that post anyway. I'll write more on it some other time.

You got into pickup because there was an aspect of your life you were not happy with. Always remember that it is your happiness that you are trying to achieve. If you are truly happy nothing else matters. This is your true endgame....getting what you want socially definitely helps though.

Nice post

2009-06-18T13:10:00.003+01:00

Found a nice post on the basics of seduction on Tundercat's Seduction Lair.

Read it, remember it, then don't think about it.

If you constantly have to think about these things you will never get them.

*RELAX* You will never do anything better tense except screw-up.

Punishment and Reward

2009-06-18T12:46:00.003+01:00

When do you punish or reward and how should you do it? What constitutes a reward or a punishment?

I split theses into 2 categories unconscious and concious. Concious rewards are the big or obvious things like getting her a drink, buying her dinner, taking her out somewhere nice etc. Unconscious rewards are things like kino, making her feel special and meaningful sex. Concious punishment is withholding things she wants like sex or attention. Unconscious punishment is to be avoided, it is when you do things without realising it yourself.

The general rule is punishments builds attraction/status but can undermine comfort, rewards build security/rapport.

Concious Rewards
As with anything this can differ depending on the girl, what you want and your pickup style. It is important to realise that it is the perceived effort here that is important as much as anything else.

e.g. 1
Let us imagine you have just started talking to a girl in a bar and it is obvious you both need a drink for it to not be awkward. If it is just you two then offering to buy a drink is a big undeserved reward. You will need to make her give you a reason to buy you one first (play a pointless game with the drink as a prize maybe), or you will assign too much value to her and lower your status. If however you are with a group of people and buying a drink for everyone then it would almost be rude not to, in this case it is not much of a reward.

e.g. 2
You take a girl to the zoo for a first date (lots of people say "dating" is bad but it has it's place, I'll post more on this later). If you work at the zoo or were going there anyway, you will probably build attraction as this is a cool and exciting thing to do. She will get good feeling and associate them with you. It is not really much of a reward though and you are not really assigning her much status as you are not really putting yourself out. If you have not reason for going apart from her, then it is a big reward and I would advise against it for a first date. You are once again raising her status at the expense of your own.

Unconscious Rewards
These can be one of the most useful comfort building tools in your armoury and should be very easy to do. This is great because it raises the status of the girl in relation to herself but not in relation to you. ie it makes her feel better about herself and does not really require much effort from you. This is what friends do for each other all the time. Some examples are:

Remembering anything that is important to her
Being a shoulder to cry on
Looking after her (eg cock blocking someone else)
Looking after the ordering in a restaurant
Translating for her, or making a formal phone call (great for non-locals)

Word of warning however all this will ALWAYS make her like you, but you don't need to like someone to be attracted to them. Doing much of this without attraction is a highway to the friend zone. If you get there game will have to be shit hot to get out of, generally best to move on.

Concious Punishments
These are if possible the only type of punishments you should use. The best way to do this is to think of yourself as the prize, punish her by denying her part of yourself. Punish passively by not doing things rather than doing things, this way you elevate your own status above hers and not the other way round. Good ways to do this are:

not seeing her
inviting other people when you do
withholding sex
generally not giving her so much attention

You should only ever punish intent. Mistakes are not really worth punishing much, tell her off sure but it is how she thinks about you that matters. For example she breaks something important to you, this is only really worth punishing if you think she did not take appropriate care.

Don't punish her if she admits she was wrong, give her a chance to do so. A woman will NEVER admit blame during an argument or when you are telling her off (which will generally cause an argument). Get your points across, remain calm and don not let her change the subject. Then give her a while to calm down. If she sees she was being unreasonable, problem solved (maybe even a small unconscious reward). If not punish her.

Unconscious Punishments
These are bad and can destroy comfort, security and attraction. It generally happens because you are pissed off with her or have stopped caring and are not man enough to tell her to her face. It can be difficult to realise when you are doing this but it generally means that you are using concious punishments unintentionally. You are a man you should be in control, there is no excuse. All you can do here is to watch yourself be aware of your motivations and realise when you are being unreasonable.

There is one final category of punishments: silly/spiteful ones. Here I mean deliberately going out of your way to make her irritated or unhappy. This is both assigning more status to her at your own expense and destroying comfort/security levels. Women are hormonal and have an excuse for this, men do not. Just don't.

Reccomended materiel

2009-06-17T13:08:00.006+01:00

There are a lot of products out there, some are rubbish, some are incredible. It can be very difficult to know what is what. Personally I have read and listened my way through huge amounts of materiel. Here is what I would recommend:

For new PUAs:

The Game by Neil Strauss
A good read and great overall introduction to the basic structure of pick-up. Having read more stuff, I now disagree with a lot of what he says but this book introduced me to pickup and no other book or item has changed my life as much as this.

RSD Foundations
Despite what Style says about Tyler in The Game Tyler is the most inspiring person I have ever heard. The RSD method, certainly for me, is without a doubt the best. Foundations answered all of my basic questions. I had listened to a load of other stuff before this but this really got me going. What to do and how to go about it.

Derek Vitalio (Seduction Science)
I have not listened to anything but his hypnosis CDs. They were mind blowing every time I listen to them and they still give me a huge lift that lasts for days. Nothing builds your inner game faster.

Speed Seduction 3.0 by Ross Jeffries
Really easy to listen to as he is a very funny guy. SS is difficult to use at first but try it a few times and it can work miracles. Don't let it become the only part of your game though. He has some fantastic lines you can use whatever your game style.

Moving on:

Kerick Cleveland
Has some great introductory materiel for NLP and basic persuasion techniques. Learn to control peoples emotions and you have them by the balls.

Swingcat
Style obviously nicked most of his techniques. From the horses mouth they seem to make much more sense. There is however an annoying sense of commercialism in his stuff, good techniques though.

General Recommended Reading:

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
If you can master these techniques then it is all you will ever need. You may even be the new messiah/Buddha/prophet.

How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie
Classic. First published in 1936 and still relevant today. Has a fantastic array of real world techniques in dealing with people in general. Will help all aspects of your game.

There are many many other resources that are useful but by the time you have gone through these you will probably have your own opinions.

Rights as a human being

2009-06-16T17:23:00.000+01:00

Been thinking about a few things that we often deny ourselves. Although this blog is generally aimed at guys, girls should definitely remember these too.

I have the right to want sex at anytime
I have the right to desire anyone
I have the right to have fantasies about anything
I have the right to reject someones advances without remorse
I have the right to talk to anyone
I have the right to admire anyone, anywhere
I have the right to look at anyone, anywhere
I have the right to enjoy anyone's company
I have the right to act on my feelings

Anyone think of anything else?

On not being a dick

2009-06-16T13:03:00.003+01:00

In my opinion the key to all this is to be (forgive the "new age" terminology here) at one with yourself. My quest to be good with women has been as much about making myself generally happy as anything else. You are never going to do this by being a dick.

According to RSD Tim, the number 1 rule is: "Don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks". Brilliant advice, it still helps me everyday. What this means to me is that you have to trust in yourself. If you truly believe you are a good person you will act accordingly. You don't need to consider everyone's feelings all the time you are a good person and whatever you do will most likely be fair and balanced. Do whatever it is with the confidence that you know what you are doing and it is almost certainly the right decision.

You know when you are being selfish, don't worry about what people might think. You know when you are being unreasonable, don't worry about what may be the case. Being true to yourself means that you understand that everyone does not have to like you.

This attitude can make somepeople go to far though. Indeed some so called MPUAs even advocate this as it is very alpha. But at what cost? Do you want to be the kind of guy that everyone thinks is a dick but gets lots of girls? Is that really a price worth paying? That kind of guy has to go looking for girls. Cool guys get found by girls, other girls tell their friends about them guys introduce them to their sisters and cousins.

Some people might say "you know what? fuck it, I just want to get laid". Fair play, but you will find the sort of girls you get are the sort of girls that other guys want to stay away from. These kind of girls will often hate them selves and be selfish and souless. These kind of girls will drain your positive energy. They are the kind of girls that will scream at you and stalk you. They are the kind of girls that will give you an STD and not care.

Know yourself, make sure you are a positive and good person. Do this and not only will you be able to go up and pick girls up but they will come to you. It will help you handle rejection and stop you being embarrassed. It will make you happy and it will improve the lives of those around you.

About this Blog and the Author

2009-06-16T12:52:00.003+01:00

This blog is basically going to be a collection of what I see as valuable advice and useful information on the subject of seduction. Some of it will be stuff I steal from forums and other sources, some will be written by the author. All of it is personally recommended for whatever reason.

I will try to keep the balance between self-improvement and actual tried and tested techniques. Try to take everything with a mix of your own personal style, if you don't put your own mark on it you will only ever have limited success. When the chicks tell you to be yourself they are (for once) right (that said it can be an incredibly hard thing to do).

I am 27 years old and living in London, I have been with a very beautiful and cool chick for the past 8 months. I currently have no plans to go for any MLTRs or anything like this, not that I don't recommend it but I do not feel I need to now (more on that in future posts).

Comments are currently unmoderated, and if you do post I will try to reply.

The main purpose of this blog is to generate some extra cash for me, I will make no secret of that fact. However I can only really do this by providing useful information to my readers. No readers = no cash. So feel free to post any reccomendations or general comments in the comments section for this post. Also please support my sponsors. :)

Cheers,
F

How to get the girl - a pie chart

2009-06-15T17:49:00.001+01:00

A nod to the boys at Kontraband for this one, made me giggle.

Structure of Pickup - From Bad Boy's Newsletter

2009-06-14T01:10:00.003+01:00

Not generally a fan of Bad Boy personally but this is really informative and a good summary. Enjoy.

I still meet “pick up artists” who have no clue what rapport and attraction actually are! I will make this clear once and for all…

First, what is Attraction?

Attraction is a feeling in our body, when we want something. It can be a car, a girl, a house, whatever... Just like any other feeling, it goes away with time. For example, when we talk about cars, I will get wild if I come near red Ferrari! Why?
Because it’s an example of my dream car.

My dream car must be red or yellow, and it must have a great engine, the design must be excellent, and it must be FAASST and represent status! When I see car like that, I will say WOW!

Now, what does a hot 20yo girl want? What does her dream guy look like?

Handsome.
Confident.
Interesting.
Has a good sense of humor.
He is not needy.
He know what he wants.
He takes what he wants.
He is a prize.
Great in bed.
He is a challenge.

What is going to happen, when she sees a guy like this? She will FEEL attraction towards him… This is instinct and it comes from the emotional brain; the part of the brain where all of our instincts are stored.

Let me explain -- our brain is separated into 2 parts… The Emotional brain and the Logical brain! The logical brain is for things like mathematics, rules, words, syntax, cultural mores, etc. It’s the place where everything that society teaches you is stored. This brain is like a hard drive! When we are born, the hard drive is empty!

The Emotional brain controls our instincts and responds viscerally to colors, music, rhythm, beauty, fear, etc… Everything that we say is “hard wired” or “in our genes”, is stored here (most things). I talk about the importance of this in more detail in my 3 CD Set.

A 20yo girl’s instincts say she must get a guy who is masculine, confident, ALPHA and knows how to survive.

Why?

It comes from millions of years of choosing and mating. It comes from a period when women chose the guy who had the best options to survive. He was a smart choice because of his Alpha attributes and good genes. Today, the power that MUSCLES used to represent is often represented by MONEY…

Money, represents power, and power is what they really want. The feeling that a guy will lead her confidently and safely through life is what she wants.

A model I used to date told me once, “A guy must have more POWER then I have. It doesn't matter if it’s money, career, status, confidence, as long as he is ABOVE me! I love the feeling when guy has more power then I have." That is what they really want. It’s hard wired into them.

Yesterday I asked my Girlfriend, to describe me with 3 words. Her answer was really funny!

1) Authoritative

2) Wild

3) Interesting

Authority is created by leadership, confidence and attitude… I know what I want, and I will get that.

Wild? Hmm…probably because every day with me in new adventure. She never knows what going to happen, even if we watch movie at home.

Interesting... Her words, "Because you can bullshit about nothing for hours and it’s really interesting to listen." LOL... guys, does this reminds you of the “blabla” exercise in my Live Workshop?

When you convey what she wants in an ideal guy, you will get attraction. If you don't get indicators of interest, that means you didn't convey what she wants. It’s that simple.

Once you have attraction and indication of interest, the girl is ready for Rapport!
Rapport comes from 3 things: Comfort, Trust and Connection! Rapport is Based in the Logical brain because it is a Society product. "You must, get to know the guy first, you must CONNECT with him, you must search for your soul mate before you sleep with him..."

Soul mates = 2 persons who share lot of common interest like hobbies, books, music, sports, etc. Once you really CONNECT with a person, that connection is really hard to break. In order to really GET a girl, you must engage both Brains, Logical & Emotional. Otherwise, it’s going to be a flake or '”Let’s just be friends.”

If you create attraction without rapport, tomorrow morning, when the feeling of attraction goes away, who the fuck are you to her? Nobody! Just some interesting stranger…

In reverse, if you just create rapport without attraction she will consider you a friend, because there is no CHEMISTRY between you and her…

You must have Attraction AND Rapport to get the girl.

Understanding women

2009-06-12T15:39:00.000+01:00

You've probably heard that women are emotional beings right. So they relate to emotional facts to survive. Now you probably thought that when i mentioned EMOTIONAL beings that they're not smart, or can't thing logical in their job, school. The difference between women and men on a logical level is in the way we communicate. We'll take a men chat and a women chat to compare.

Men Chat:

Quote:DUDE1: Hey guys... I've just bought a new Toyota with my girlfriend. It has like X horsepower. And it only takes X gasoline per mile. It has the full equipment. Water cooling, CD-Player, Seat-Heater etc.

DUDE2: Dude that's awesome. What kind of engine does it have ?

DUDE1: It's diesel man ! Runs like a baby.

Women Chat:

Quote:GIRL1: My and my boyfriend just got a new car. It's totally great. It has huge windows and i can see the nature in it's full bright.

GIRL2: Oh how sweet.

GIRL1: Yeah.. our old car had these uncomfortable seats. But these seats are so comfortable. Gives me the feeling i can fly!

No doubt you can see the difference between these two chats right. The men doesn't care how he feels when he's driving the car. He cares only whether the car is COOL and AWESOME. But the women relates in her EMOTIONAL INSTINCT and cares if the seats are comfortable, if the air cooling has the right temperature so she feels relaxed and so on. Another case. In my country none of the girls watch Formula 1 or any car racing that exists. What they watch 24/7 are the soap operas that make us men go ill right ? The girl is in trance when she's watching her favorite soap opera. And if you say to her can you give me a blowjob she'll respond with a yes, the house is on fire and she'll say yes ( when i was little i said this to my mum, and she said only OK lol ). Why don't they watch Formula 1 ? Because there are no emotions in it. No emotional content. No dramatic, tragic, love and stuff like that.

You can be the best man on the world and it can happen that she wont go out with you. Because of her feelings. And then when you start to explain to her how great you are, how lovely you are, how nice you are you're just talking logical and it wont make a difference. She decides on her feeling whether she'll go out with you or not. You know the major feelings. I'll summon them up again: attraction, comfort, trust, connection. Without attraction she'll MAYBE go out with you but you'll end as a friend. Without comfort, trust or connection and with way too much attraction you'll end as a jerk or an idiot or an asshole, you name it.

Women RELATE TO EMOTIONS.

So remember that when you're interacting with women YOU HAVE TO BE EMOTIONAL. FORGET LOGIC. GET INTO AN EMOTIONAL STATE OF MIND.

How To Understand Their Actions, Reactions, Moves ?

It's easy to do just that. It's also handy if you're a crazy routine creator. To understand women you just have to ask yourself these questions:

- Why did she say that ? / Why is she telling me that ?

- What does she need ? / What is her need ?

- What has to happen to her to achieve it ?

Confused ? Totally. Don't worry. I'll give you an example.

GIRL: Talks about her pets all the time
What does she need ?
Explanation: She needs someone that will listen to her. She needs someone that'll understand her that she loves animals so much.

GIRL: Tells you how she isn't going out with her friends because they don't invite her.
Why is she saying this ?
Explanation: She's lonely. She wants to go out.

From our last example we're gonna take this a bit further. How to be the best guy she has ever met.

Lula: It's a boring month you know. I haven't been our for a long time now.

( now i put the third question in: What has to happen to her to achieve it ? )

Mofo: It's your lucky day. I'm going to play some pool tonight. You should come with me. I'm not so good at it. I could use a chearleader. ( playfully said )

And that's it. You just had to ask yourself the third question.

She's a Bitch on the Outside. Is She On The Inside Too?

You've probably been shut down by a girl or even slapped by one. And you thought oh my god what a bitch. And you probably thought that she's like that on the INSIDE too ? She's not. I've had a few experiences in my life with total OUTSIDE bitches. I struggled to open her up. But eventually i did. That's why i say this: Women can be anything on the OUTSIDE but on the INSIDE they're just little emotional, insecure girlies.

She'll Make The Step If You Wont

Like dancing. A man has to take the LEAD not the woman. You have to be the leader and the dominant one between you two. If you wont take the LEAD she will. And less likely you'll fail if she takes the LEAD. Because women seek for leadership in other man. I explain it like this. They all had a father right ? And the FATHER always lead things in her life. If he said she can't go out she just couldn't go out. And they started to get used to it. That's why they'll always need a leader in their life. SO BE A LEADER. Always make the first step and always end HER or YOURS step first. You start a kiss and you end a kiss.

Safety

Women are gentle beings. They can't defend themselves. Except the Martial-Arts freak girls haha. Women need someone to protect them. Someone they can feel safe around. And again my explanation is the same as above. Their father took care of that safety when they were young. The same goes for you now. They'll seek a part of her father in you. And you'll have to give her that safety. If the girl didn't have a father then she has been connected to her mother a lot. Her mother of course gave her some safety but not all. These girls are mostly shy or are afraid of men. You have to be careful around them and you'll have to build a lot of trust and comfort before they're gonna feel safe around you.

Tests

Shit tests indeed. Little test women make. But don't blame them they don't realize they're cruel or rude to you. They're not pissed at you just like that if you piss them off. If you said something bad about them they'll return that to you. But if you're running a normal conversation and they sometimes try to affect, blame, insult you they're just doing tests because things are getting to emotional for her and she starts processing it logical. Tests with which they see if you're vulnerable, insecure and how you react on them. Pass these test smart or in a funny way.

What Men Do Women Want ?

I want to clear one thing again about the MOST TRUE statement of them all. Looks don't matter!. I know this 110%. I've had this belief that looks matter. But through some experiences it started to fade away. Let's make it plain and simple.

What do men see on women first ? Yeah thats right... tits.. ass.. boobs.. nice legs..

But what do women see on men ? No that's wrong.. they see his C H A R A C T E R. That's why you have to convey your C H A R A C T E R I S T I C S in your stories, the way you walk, talk and act.

But you wouldn't want a women if you weren't attracted to her would you ? I wouldn't. You WOULD definitely sleep with a women that has a nice face, tits and boobs. I would. Because we'd be attracted to her. And that's why you have to build ATTRACTION towards a women if you want to proceed any further. And for building ATTRACTION you need these major points I'm going to describe to you.

Quote:
- Confidence

- Humor

- Challenge

- Charm

Simple isn't it ? But now you start flooding me with all these logical questions.. how do i do this.. how do i do that ? Just read on.

- Confidence

Being alpha. Being the dominant male. You have some pre-knowledge of this and you can find chapters about confidence in this book.

- Humor

The biggest mystery of them all or the EASIEST thing on the world. It's probably the biggest mystery for you right ? If you posses the great skill-set of being funny the women is already yours. You just need to use it right.

If you have a sense of humor it shows to other people that you're not some random serious asshole that has a heart of stone or is afraid to show his bad teeth with his laughter. Or maybe he has a laugh like a sick cat or whatever you name it.

And as soon as a woman is laughing you can ESCALATE. You can sit next to her if you've just approached. You can say let's go there and there. Anything. If you want to CLOSE fast and so on.

Let's get onto HOW CAN I BE FUNNY ? The formula i've figured out and mostly all of the other Players too is simple because it's easy to recognize. It's your playful attitude combined with some strong CONFIDENCE. Dude.. if you're scared like a lil' chick and you call her a dork she'll get pissed. Really pissed i mean it. I've seen it before. You have to be confident and funny at the same time. That's the formula I use. But you have to practice using those funny lines every where you can. I'm gonna give you some examples later but keep in mind that HUMOR equals being funny and confident at the same time. Funny equals to funny lines, being playful.

Examples:

She:: How are you ?
PIMP:: Actually I'm feeling quite good right now. Some 12 year olds molested me before and i had to disappear.
PIMP:: You sure seem like a molester. I mean REALLY do you guys have an ID or something ? Cuz i'm going to tha police !

See that was pretty easy. You just need to make those silly comments, lines and stories and your good to go. But you have to pull it off PLAYFULLY and with A LOT OF CONFIDENCE.

Examples:

** Writing a first message to a girl **

Quote:Damn girl would ya stop thinking of my fine sexy ass for a sec ? =) My ass has feelings too it's getting all sore if you don't stop it. ;-P So how are you ?

~ Alex

Quote:Girl i know what ya doing right now. Watching guys in undies on the internet ah ? Why don't you tell me how you are instead of that ? ;-)

~ Alex

Now go out in the world and practice your delivery and your funny lines ! It's REALLY EASY.

- Challenge

Oh my god. I get the creeps as soon as i think of the guys that do the same old boring things with girls. Dude.. girls like to talk you know that ? And do you think they'll like to talk about you if you'll remain a stupid monotone asshole ? A-A not a chance. You have to be a challenge. You have to do just the opposite thing of what she expects you to do.

She: Are u single ?
Little Johnny: No actually I'm a PIMP and I have 5 girls waiting for me at home.

Another thing i get a lot through online messengers is this:

She: With who are you chatting right now ?
Little Johnny: Hm.. gimme 5 minutes I want time to count.

*** after a minute or two you write back ***

Little Johnny: Actually I'm talking only with you ;-P

----

Little Johnny: ( you see a nice ass going by ) Damn that girls has one hell of an ass. Yours is not that good. But if you love your ass then she can hide. Do you love your ass ?
She: No. I have a fat ass.

Little Johnny: Then i can't even talk to you anymore if you don't love your ass !! ( WALK AWAY AND RETURN IN 5 MINUTES.. just get a drink and return this will get her on a hook )

Little Johnny: So.. did you change your mind ? Do you love your ass now ?

This means being A real C H A L L E N G E

- Charm

I wont be going all crazy on this term. Being charming is all about emotions. If you can give her all emotions you're charming. But the biggest emotion you can project to her is love, carefulness, kindness. Show her how you can be romantic. Show her every feeling you've ever felt and you've done the job. Show these feelings in STORIES. Hell that's why the stories are for. To convey your character, personality and to INCLUDE as much feelings as you can.

Practice: from a girl

2009-06-12T10:27:00.000+01:00

By Alexandra, one of pickup 101's supergirls

Several years back, I ran into an old high school friend.

He asked me out on a date.

The first date happened to be the week of my birthday. After dinner he invited me back to his apartment.

To my surprise he had 9 dozen roses, 3 huge boxes of Godiva chocolates, sterling silver chop sticks with a little elephant chopstick holder, a chocolate bar of soap, some kind of board game that was called, “strip chocolate” and a stuffed bear the size of Texas!

No joke.. this thing must have cost at least $300 for the bear alone.

I guess he wanted to catch my attention.

In the following weeks, I received flowers 2-3 times a week delivered to my door, along with stuffed ducks in bath robes and a trip to Disney World.

The relationship was over within 2 months.

I was totally turned off.

Was it nice? Sure I enjoyed the $600 dinners.

But did it make me attracted to him?

No. Not one bit.

Most guys assume that you have to plan some elaborate date and wine and dine in order to create attraction.

In actuality though, when you meet someone—the right someone—it doesn’t matter if they take you for tofu on a stick or a $150 steak.

Attraction is created within seconds of meeting someone. And in many instances before the first words are even exchanged.

I categorize guys when I first meet them. I just get this feeling throughout my body.

I can tell what kind of relationship we’re going to have, if we’re going to be just friends, if it’s going to be short term, long term or if it’s not going to happen at all. I know this all within the first few minutes of meeting someone.

And then there are those times when you weren’t even looking to meet someone and it throws you off guard because you are suddenly presented with some incredible person standing in front of you. When you are least expecting something, that’s when it happens. In my experience, those have been the best relationships. When you are not even looking.

So if it’s not the $600 dinners, how do you do it? How do you just be that right someone?

Practice your skills with as many women as you can. You may go though 20 or maybe 50 women. But it’s on that day that you decide not to shave and you step out into your apartment hallway in your favorite Sponge Bob boxers and your Grizzly Bear slippers to grab your morning paper when you look up and there she is! The hottest woman you have ever seen, who just happens to adore Sponge Bob and thinks those slippers are all that and a bag of chips!

Are you the kind of guy who would just stand there totally embarrassed thinking, “Oh my god.. RUN!” or are you going to be the guy who is ready with the confidence to deliver the funniest, silliest banter line she has ever heard? You melt her with your charm, and touch her in just the right way. Next thing you know she is joining you for breakfast. Believe me, it happens just like that.

The point is, you have to have the skills necessary to take the best action that will lead you to hotter women! And you have to be able to seize the opportunity when the time comes.

Women like and prefer men who know what they’re doing! When a guy seems all fumbly and bumbly, it’s a turn off. I can’t say it any other way. When a man can take control and show that he knows what he’s doing, that is when he is the sexiest.

Women sense these things immediately.

You might think that the fancy dinner may win you points, but the truth is that most women will take the dinner or two.. and then leave you high and dry—exactly why you shouldn’t spend a lot of money on dates. There are plenty of super fun and romantic things to do for little or no cost.

Whether it turns out to be a serious relationship or not, it’s got to start with the real you. Your skills are what allows you to display your personality and be yourself around her. Targeting a woman with your money will not get you what you’re really looking for.

There is nothing wrong with a small token that she can think of you by. I personally think it’s really nice when a guy makes a sweet gesture of that sort. If you like her, show it! But don’t go overboard.

So you may be thinking, was I taking advantage of the guy who was spending a fortune on me? I’ll tell you exactly what was on my mind.

I liked the guy, he was funny, incredibly intelligent, and adventurous. So what happened?

He came on too strong and I could tell he had no experience of any kind. He thought he could move through the relationship hopping from pricey activity to the next pricey activity hoping that that would cover up the fact that he had no idea what to do to attract a woman.

For me, that was the let down. He didn’t know what to do with me. He didn’t know how to have fun with me, how to lead me, or how to touch me. He was unsure of himself and I sensed he was questioning every move he made.

He thought he was following the classic steps of dating, but it was like he was going through the motions without really connecting. The interesting thing is he was really nice–super sweet. I kept telling myself that maybe I could make myself feel something deeper.

I believe that it doesn’t matter what you do on your first date, as long as you are just having fun together and continually building genuine rapport. If you know what you’re doing, you can be attractive no matter what activity you do or how much you spend.

One of the best dates I ever had was running through the neighbor’s garden sprinklers until we were both completely soaked! And how much did it cost?? NOTHING! How much fun did we have?? WHOA!! How much attraction was built!? Too much to mention.

The moral is: Don’t be the guy that I just told you about. Women are attracted to guys who know what they’re doing. The more women you date- the more skills and experience you will have, which leads to being ready when you meet the right one

Super IOIs

2009-06-11T17:42:00.001+01:00

I like the term IOI. I'm a pretty observant guy so if there's signals to be looking out for I want to know about it!

You know about IOIs. They tend to be rather subtle, like a look, a hand squeeze, blushing, how a girl responds to your kino etc. They're good, you've got a hook, but you still have it all to play for.

Then there is the total green light. No interpretation needed, like a girl telling you flat out "I want you now!", or putting her hand down your pants.

I'm not talking about that, these are still IOIs you encounter as you game. I'd also say they are still kind of subtle, as in they could be easily missed. But they are different from the regular IOI in that they convey a much more powerful message of approval than just a hand squeeze. So be on the look out!

These are the ones I've identified so far.

The wink wink introduction

When a girl introduces you to her friend, keep an eye out for the green light look. A bit of an eyebrow raise, and slight sideways nod of the head. A sort of "nudge nudge" look that says "you two will get on just fine!". That look means a lot.

Look how sexy my shoes are

I'm convinced women see and use shoes as both a measure of others and of communicating intents or mindsets. When they totter about on ridiculous heels complaining about it all night it *can't* be for fun! They are sending a powerful message of sexual intent. They realise men for the most part are oblivious to that, so in an attempt to pass on this megawatt message to the THE MAN THEY WANT they mention it. If you hear a girl directing your attention to her feet, you have a SIOI.

The chode rescue

Girls are hit on all the time. Their defences are well documented, and you are familiar with the cockblocker. One thing I've observed is girls wanting to get rid of guys by pulling a superior example into the set to defend them against the chodes. So why did they pull YOU in? They like you, and have expectations of you that's why. Of all the people they could pull in they are happiest to bring you into the set. I reckon they believe you are either easily attractive enough to get the girls' attention rather than the chodes, or manly enough to persuade the chodes to leave.

Raising logistics

This could be just a one-liner, the example I have is "We're on the same bus route". It means the girl is thinking about extracting you. Rationalising how this could work, tonight, from here. How it's ON! If she DIDN'T want to spend more time with you, when she realises you need the same bus she's not going to mention it!

That's all I have for now. When I figure out more, I'll be sure to add them!

How to fail and still look cool

2009-06-11T17:40:00.000+01:00

Eddie "The Eagle" was a British competitor in the Calgary winter Olympics. He is the only british entrant ever in ski-jumping. He was in fact British world champion, although that is like saying you are the best mountaineer in Holland.

He suffered from a huge funding crisis that was so bad he actually practice in his back garden by jumping off small objects. He had to wear 6 pairs of socks just so his boots would fit. He was 9kg heavier than his heaviest rival. He was so short sighted he had to wear ridiculous glasses that fogged up when he jumped so he couldn't see.

Clearly he sucked, big time. The Norwegian team was actually so worried that he'd hurt himself they gave him some last minute coaching and a pair of skis and boots.

Thing was he became an international celebrity overnight. People loved him. At one point he could command £10,000 an hour for appearances. Everyone admired his spirit, determination and sheer gall to turn up and have a go at something he knew he would only embarrass himself in.

From wikipedia:
"At the closing ceremony the president of the Games singled him out for his contribution: "At this Games some competitors have won gold, some have broken records and one has even flown like an eagle." At that moment, 100,000 people in the stadium roared 'Eddie! Eddie!'. It was the first time in the history of the games that an individual athlete had been mentioned in the closing speech."

Every time you think "I don't want to do that because everyone will watch me being crap", think of Eddie the Eagle. The only person who will appreciate your success is you. Everyone admires an underdog who gives it their all.

Asuming Attraction

2009-06-11T17:08:00.000+01:00

Assuming attraction is less about self talk and affirmations and more about an internal state.

The question is this - if you are consciously telling yourself something, do you really feel as if it's true? Do you really feel it?

Correct me if i'm wrong, but I'd guess the answer is most likely no, and the old theory that if you do enough affirmations it becomes true isn't valid.

Personally I find that if I try to do affirmations on any significant time scale only one thing happens... they get boring.

And in fact the only reason why the ever work at all is through the placebo effect - you believe they are helping.

So, if you are not yet disgusted at my response that has carelessly innoculated and dismantled a placebo you have used in the past with marginal success, then read on for something even better...
Society has suffered widespread brainwashing.

We are brainwashed to believe that attraction is important and necessary.

It doesn't matter if she's attracted to you, or if she wants you, or if she wants to rape you or whatever.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Why? Because even if that stuff is true (and most of the time it is, read any book by Nancy Friday) she is conditioned NOT to act on it.

And because of the sheer volume of social programming, this whole thing has become a process.

In other words, her attraction to you is a state that is caused by a process which you create.

That is why we "asssume attraction."

Because there are basically 2 ways to go about it.

I could give you a list of waypoints and techniques you could use to reach those waypoints.

Or, realizing that most of those techniques are built upon the assumption that either she IS attracted to you, or that attraction doesn't matter, one of the things you can teach a person to do is assume attraction.

And the way that you do that is not through self talk but through the interpretation and misinterpretation of real life events, such that the perception is skewed in your favor.

And this requires two things:

* Lot's of practice in the real world
* Some real creativity

So let's do some examples:

Let's say you approach a woman who is seated at a table. She's sitting alone, reading a book and you approach in a relaxed manner and ask her "Is that seat available?"

Of course, unless she's waiting for a friend, she is going to answer in the affirmative in which case you proceed to sit down and continute your pick-up.

You have ASSUMED that her answer of "yes" is actually an invitation and expression of her interest in continuing to talk to you.

In other words you are not waiting for permission, or waiting for "signs" she is attracted. You assumed it.

Another example.

You begin gaming two girls in the club. You hit them with an intrigue generating line like "I see girls like you all the time in my work...".

Very quickly they will ask you "What do you do?" or "Girls like us? Like what?" At this point you lead them to a nearby couch while beginning to tell them a story that may or may not actually answer their question.

You have interpreted their question (that you generated through masterful understanding of intrigue generation and stimulus / response behaviors) as an attempt to get to know you further.

When you act on this and sit down with them on the couch, they begin to believe that which you assume.

Cosmopolitan - Real Life

2009-06-11T17:07:00.000+01:00

"I gave up all I had only for my beloved gipsy"

Ioana's story, a 20 year old student, brings you back somehow to the story of Romeo and Juliet, in a modern interpretation. She used to have all that she could ever want: expensive cars, pool houses, holidays in exotic islands, expensive clothes and even the freedom of going out whenever she wanted with her friends, having every week the money of a medium economy wage per month! (so, to explain, in one week she was given the money that a normal worker was earning in one single month..and she didn't have to work for them). And she gave up all of these mentioned above, without thiking too much, just to have the chance to be with him, a gipsy boy from a peripheral neighbourhood in town.

It All Started...

In the last year of secondary school, before highschool. They have been together since then..nothing could have separated them, except for the 1-2 month periods when her parents used to drive her far away from Bucharest, demanding to her that she shouldn't see him anymore, that she should forget him for good. "I was a young girl, obedient and I was attracted to those rebel and non-conformist type of boys", said Ioana.. when slowly but gradually starting to relieve of her pain. "Some buddies wanted to make us acquainted, but at the beginning I didn't like him. We played for a while that mouse and cat game until we finally reached the same page together, and started being friends... the way friendships are at that age. We used to hold each other's hands, write notes to one another, and kiss each other in parks. There was one problem though, my boyfriend was part of the 'bad kids' category and nobody could even imagine how me, a hard-working graduate girl, could even interfere in the life of a 'black sheep boy'. There was a period when everything went fine and nobody seemem to mind that we were together..until our Romanian language teacher caught us in one break, kissing on the holeway. That's when all the chaos started.

She Told My Mom...

...that I was hanging out with a gipsy, that I rarely attend classes, that I have absented a lot and that I always am near him..which wasn't all true. She was overreacting. I used to skip classes from time to time, it's true, just as any schoolgirl would do, but I was very much in love with him and I wasn't in the mood for studying. When my mom found out about us, she made a huge quarrel. She immediately came to school, spoke to him, told him to leave me alone, that we come from different society groups and that we have no promising future together. Having these been said, we couldn't manage to see each other anymore because I was constantly being watched; the school guards weren't guarding the building anymore, they were guarding Ioana against seeing with Alin (the gipsy); teachers were constantly "looking after" me: where I was going during the break, whom I was meeting with, I could barely go to the bathroom alone. My mom had probably alterted everyone about this situation.

I Spent All My Summer Away From Bucharest

When my parents saw that after my secondary school graduate exam he was waiting for me in front of the building, they decided it was best I left Bucharest. They confiscated my mobile phone, took me to the mountain-side and kept me there for 2 months, so as to every little chance for us to see each other be destroyed. And they were convinced after this that I had lost all contact with him. Indeed, that summer we never spoke to each other, nor saw each other, but when school started, I borrowed a mobile phone from a colleague of mine, I called him and he immediately came to highschool. A single phone call was enough for us to continue our relationship from the point where it was ended.
This lasted until June, when my mom found out again from a "secretive" colleague of mine that we were together again. Another big quarrel took place. That I had made a fool of her, that I had been involved with gipsies. She was so angry, that her face turned white... And being for the fact that I didn't want to tell her his name, she went back to secondary school, ordered the teachers there to look into the files and found out his real name and address.

She Forced Me Go To His Parents

I remember now when I was crying in big tears, in my mom's car, telling her over and over again that I didn't want to go. We had barely reached the gate that my mom started screaming like hell so that everyone on the street heard her, that we weren't from the same social group, that he wasn't meant for me, that we had better end our relationship. His mother reacted calmly. "I, myself, would like for him to hang out with a gipsy, but if he is very much in love with your daughter and she manages to make him happy, I cannot interfere between them". My mom wasn't satisfied with those words and she didn't gave up until she made it clear to the gispy's mother: to tell Alin to leave her daughter alone.
My parents then isolated me even of my girl friends - they had the distinct impression that my friends were my accomplices. All this time, I tried to speak to my mother, I told her to let me have the life I wanted to. I tried to explain to her that I cared deeply about him, that he is different from the others, that HE makes me happy. But she couldn't hear me. In spite of these, my mom's attitude towards me had radically changed. I admit, we didn't use to be very close. If I had a problem, a concern, she wasn't the first person I would run up to speak about it, although we were together when doing shopping or going out to jogging.

Another Short Happiness

Autumn came again, 2nd year of highschool and a new seeing each other again, another period where we used to hide wherever we could. It came to be very hard for us because my parents wouldn't give me as much money as before - I had ridiculed them - my boyfriend didn't have much either, so we couldn't afford going to a movie or just to drink something. And so, we sat in the nearby highschool park, near each other, for hours and hours, wishing just one thing..to be together. We had also managed to see each other when we would run from parties and walk across town on foot like two crazy people, enjoying every spare moment. I remember now that our so-called happiness was shadowed by the fear of not being caught and there were days when we used to hide like prisoners hide from cops. And we managed to hide so well, that it wasn't until two years later that my mother found out about this.

The Silence Before the Storm

All this time I had to lie to her. Because she was constantly questioning me why I didn't have a boyfriend and I felt that my mother was sceptic in her heart regarding myself being with "that gipsy". I was trying to convince her that I wasn't in the mood for boys. I was constantly giving her silly arguments such as if I wanted to go out with somebody, a lover would keep an eye on everything that I made and that I wasn't in need of such a thing. My mother respired... until one day. When she found a letter. Which I had written a long time ago, in a time when I was desperate, because it was very hard for us to see each other: my mother was checking me all the time, she used to call my girl friends and I had to constantly make a plan with everybody and tell them where I were, what I was doing so as to be covered, protected. And I had had enough, I was tired of this. I went through a nightmare period because I was completely isolated; if somebody called me on the telephone, my mother wouldn't allow me to answer it, I didn't have neither a mobile phone, nor internet at that time. My last years, at least, in Balotesti - my parent's house was there - were terrible: I would come from school, eat, then I would go up to my room and sit there until the next day, without leaving it. And nobody would come and check up on me, to see if I was ok, or if I was still alive. And in this state of nervousness, I wrote a few lines on a piece of paper, where I told myself that the only solution would be for me to leave, far away from home, but I decided not to do this because it would upset my father, whom I love very much.

Some More Shindy and Interdictions

My mom got her blood up when she found out about the letter. Not only did she realize that I had been with Alin for 2 years without her knowledge, but other things were also mentioned in that letter that made her boil. The fact that I had confessed that I love my dad more than my mom and that I had slept with my boyfriend, had her lose her wits. I hadn't decided to take this step until last year's end because I had realised that he is my choice, my soul-mate, the man I couldn't bare to imagine living my life without. I told my mom that she was the one to have suggested to me years ago that when I would first make love it had better be with the man that I loved. And I tried over and over again to explain to her: he is the one I love. It was then that my parents made me choose. Either him, or they. I can't really say that I chose in any way because I moved to my grandparents, I told my mother that whatever she wishes to do, she can't separate us, unless I decide it, for whatever reason. And I also told them not to torment themselves so much anymore. They couldn't understand, even today they cannot understand how I gave up all I had for my boyfriend. My decision to leave the house was taken when I accidentally found out what my mom had done to break us up: she had the police sent to him in order to accuse my boyfriend of illegal drug selling. I even burst into laughter...if he was selling drugs, where were the money?! Because he lacks of it, unless his parents give him some. He may be different, but he doesn't smoke, he's a quiet person and only drinks from time to time at a party.
She also tried in another way to separate us: she made somebody send him (Alin) messages that claimed I was dating other men, that I'm not loyal to him. I mean, she preferred to embarrass me in front of him instead, than to live with the thought that we are together! Of course, the minute she saw that Alin didn't take it personally and that he wasn't buying it, she became very furious! For me, it was the last straw - I have had it! Enough was enough!

I Moved To My Grandmother

I had no clothes, no money, nothing. I remember wearing the same pair of blue jeans for 2 whole weeks. I used to wash it in the evening so as to go the next morning to school with it. I managed to lose about 7 Kilograms in 10 days because of the stress. I couldn't sleep at night and black thoughts were constantly crumbling my mind: what to do, which way to take, how do I handle the situation. My best girl friends (years of friendship) started telling me that maybe Alin wasn't the best solution out there (I later on found out that my mom was holding a campaign against me to convince them that what I was doing was wrong; everyone was against me). I only had him. My grandmother where I live at the moment understood me, although at the beginning she used to quarrel me; on the other hand, my other grandmother (from my mom's) calls me every day and cries in tears at the phone that I had insulted and destroyed their family.

Different Values

My mother doesn't realize even today that I had managed to survive without her money. It was a time when I would wear only "Dolce" or "Versace" shoes and, if no "Gucci", no bag was worhty - I was like the girls in my highschool. In there, should they be starving of hunger, they can't live without a Gucci bag; that's how they can feel good and important. Having lived in this world and becoming one of them, being raised to value certain principles, it took me some time to get used to my new life. My mom isn't capable to even imagine how I manage to live from day to day having in my pockets no more than 50.000lei (sometimes I have less); (=1.5 euros or 2$ nowadays); beforehand I would own 1.5 million lei everyday (=44 euros or 60$ nowadays); how I manage to wear the same clothes for months, when in the past I used to go shopping every week; how I'm not interested anymore in the 6th series...We managed to have a discussion and told my mother that for me these things aren't as interesting as they used to be - maybe because I live in another company (social group), another reason being the fact that my girl friends disappointed me... I regained friendship with my secondaty school colleagues, who have other standards of living. They, indeed, have money, but not like those in my highschool. This new environment made me realize that not everything in this world circles around a Gucci bag. My mother's reply? She said to me that I am worth zero in front of her, that I don't mean anything to her anymore and her explanation was simple and clear: Alin has succeeded in pulling me down.

A New Beginning

I have new friends now, have other concerns and I want to start earning my own money. I'm calmer than before, but still..it is hard, especially when my mom is still spreading the word that she'll do anything to break us up. I haven't seen my parents in a long time and haven't spoken to them either. As far as my relationship with Alin is concerned, I want to see how we are going to get along as a normal couple, not as how we've been so far. There is no need for us to hide anymore, to make up stories, to be the two of us against my parent's will. In spite of the fact that we aren't planning of getting married soon, I am only 20 years old, I'm beginning to think that our relationship is going to be more and more profound as time passes by.

___________________________________________________________

Psychologist's Advice: They made her choose - and she chose to be herself

"It all started in a gentle way, like any other teenage relationship who wanted to explore the wonders of friendship and those of love. A quiet girl attracted by rebel boys. A dominant mother who persecutes her, a passive father, a grandmother who supports her, and another one who isn't there by her side. These are the actors of a scenario in which a young girl is looking for her identity and discovers that love has a very big price to pay; that her parents only love and support her if she becomes a quiet girl. Aware of it or not, the young girl's objective - being herself, together with her desires, wishes, aspirations - is brought to fulfilment. Her rebellious attitude is generated by means of her age and the normative attitude of her mother. The young teenager's decision is a response to her mother's attitude."

The "Romeo and Juliet" Syndrome

There have been researched throughout time numerous cases regarding the impact of a secretive relationship for the two humans involved in it. A teacher from Georgia University announced to the public a series of facts that lead to the fact that, at the beginning, the hidden character of a relationship makes it even more intriguing. However, as time passes by, such kind of relationships may become a burden for the two involved in it, but for their families and friends as well. In many cases, real motifs occur for them to hide the relationship: different religions, racism, homosexuality.

Alin, About His Relationship With Ioana

"Our relationship is something I have fought for since I was a young boy and I can't imagine tomorrow without Ioana being next by my side. I firmly believe that we are soul-mates."

"We've been together through many tough moments, especially when her mom would caught her and punish her. I would feel so helpless for many days in a row, because I couldn't see, hear her, I didn't know anything about her. However, the most difficult time for me was when I turned 18, because she couldn't be near me, she was forbidden."